After watching “Zombi 3” the other day, I was sure that the next zombie movie I viewed, no matter how bad it really was, simply had to look like a masterpiece compared to that piece of shit. Boy was I wrong. “ROLD2” is essentially a reworking of the first “Return” and even has several of the same actors returning to play similar roles. It’s kind of like when Lamberto Bava used the same people in “Demons 2” that were in the first “Demons”, you have the same faces running around in the same series of films, but they play different characters. It really doesn’t do anything but confuse the viewer, just as my attempt at explaining it just confused you, the reader. Anyway, one of those pesky barrels containing the top secret nerve agent that raises the dead has fallen off the back of an army truck passing through small town U.S.A. Three bratty kids who discover the barrel accidentally release the toxin into the air, and before you can say “rain, rain, go away” the infected clouds are spewing their zombie revival juices all over the local graveyard. Soon the dead are rising, the army has the town quarantined and we, the audience, are stuck with slapstick zombies, annoying characters and worst of all, the terror of the dreaded child actor.

While the first “Return” was a horror/comedy, it at least had plenty of bite to go along with the laughs. That film actually managed to be funny and horrific at the same time, while here you get neither. This is pure “horror-lite” and will only entertain those who are still in the second or third grades. The idea of humor in this film is to show zombies being stepped on by other zombies as they leave their grave, or have a zombie hand flip someone the bird. Ha ha. All of the film’s characters are of the extremely annoying variety, especially the smart-ass kid named Jesse who shockingly enough is the lead character. God I hate child actors. As for the zombies and overall gore f/x, it’s all sorta cartoony and non-threatening. You could let a second-grader watch this one and not have to worry about any mental scars years later. Also, you would think that by now people would realize that you have to shoot a zombie in the head to stop it right? Well, not here as they shoot everything but the old noggin and weirdly enough, the undead only seem to die via electricity, of all things. It’s a stupid idea and an even stupider movie. Um, I mean an even worse movie. Yeah, that’s it. Skip it.