The Exorcist 2: The Heretic (1977)

You know, I’m actually at a complete loss as to what to type for this review. This film has easily got to be one of the most terrible genre films ever made by a big time studio, and was an obvious attempt by Warner Bros. to cash in on all the success the various “Exorcist” rip-offs were enjoying at the time. It’s so amazingly bad audiences jeered this one off the screen during it’s 1977 premiere, resulting in all prints being pulled from theatres so director John Boorman could reedit the damn thing into something watchable. Sorry John, no way in hell would a couple snips here and there make one bit of difference, this film just straight out blows…big time. Obviously by now you know my feelings about the movie, so I guess I should give a brief rundown of the movies “story”.

Problem is, I really don’t know what was going on here so please, bear with me. As far as I could tell (ha ha), the film dealt with a now teenage and braless Regan suffering from recurrent dreams of her possession back in Washington (I think). Regan, who now lives with the nanny from the first film is seeing a shrink who is using hypnotism to understand her dreams (I think). There’s a priest who starts hanging around Regan and starts babbling about demons named Pazuzu, swarms of African locusts and James Earl Jones in a grasshopper suit (I think). Everything (don’t ask me what) comes to a climax back in Regan’s old bedroom in Washington culminating with a good Regan, an evil Regan (Pazuzu?), a priest and a huge swarm of locusts fighting over something, maybe for Regan’s soul, then again maybe not (I think). Besides the horrendous story, we’re treated to some of the most god-awful dialogue ever known to assault man. When a little girl at the shrink’s office asks Regan what’s wrong with her, she replies, “I was possessed by a demon but don’t worry, he’s gone now” or how about this laugher from James Earl Jones, “If Pazuzu appears I’ll spit a leopard at him”. What the fuck? How could any person involved on the movie utter these words and think they were quoting something brilliant? I mean, at some point you gotta say “I’m sorry Mr. Director, but this is just some stupid shit here.” And worse of all…it’s shit that’s completely and utterly BORING. If you can stay awake during this one you are obviously a stronger man than I. A simply dreadful film which in no way deserves to be associated with the first. Piss on it.