Deep Star Six (1989)

Let's see what we have here...group of annoying characters that are stuck in some type of scientific compound? Check. Giant large beastie on the prowl looking to eat said annoying characters? Check. All characters emitting a ten plus on the "I don't give a shit if they get eaten or not" scale? Check. Looks to me like we have "Alien" rip-off number 692 (and going strong today) and boy is this one bad, real bad. An undersea mining expedition has unexpectedly come across a large uncharted cavern on the ocean floor. For reasons unknown to me, they decide to blast the thing open and unwittingly unleash a giant crab/crustacean thing that soon decides we humans taste pretty damn good, even with all those preservatives in us. I will say the monster here looks pretty cool, when we actually get to see it that is. Sometimes offering only a glimpse of the title creature works to an advantage, but like I've said before, when the film really has nothing else to offer, seeing the creature is just about the only saving grace the film may have. All characters are immediately forgettable, and director Sean Cunningham offers nothing to the viewer that has not been seen countless times before. However, with all the crappiness to be found here, there were two scenes that woke me from the sleep I was blissfully slipping into. At one point the crab thing takes a bite out of some poor guy in one of those goofy looking giant scuba suit things. I guess the guy was being pulled out of the water and up into the ship by a large crane, so when the crab thing bites him in half, the dudes body flies across the room on the crane thingy. Sorta cool. It would have been cooler though, if the dudes guts would have spilled all over his screaming girlfriend who witnessed the whole event...now that would have been good. Sigh. Where is the creativity I ask? Another nifty part has Miguel Ferrer trying to escape to the surface in a pod thing, only to blow up due to the pressure change, that was pretty good as well. Two whole decent scenes out of an hour and a half film...piss on it.