Friday the 13th 8: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

Well, it's the end of an era for the Friday the 13th series. After releasing eight films of varying degrees of artistic (did I just say that?) and, more importantly, financial success, this entry would prove to be the last of the Paramount Studio releases. Having the rights to the franchise sold over to the Home of Freddy, New Line Cinema, and having done everything possible to keep the series going and thus make that dollar, Paramount must have finally came to the conclusion that nothing more could be done to keep fans interested. Jason Takes Manhattan is sort of a culmination of all the bad elements of the series, and is easily considered by most fans as the worst sequel of the bunch. It's like a complete "how to" if you're looking to make a boring, stale, and utterly shitty film. The only, and I repeat, the only interesting thing going here is the film's gimmick, that of taking Jason out of his normal country surroundings, and (sort of) sending him into the Big Apple. And yes, they even fuck that up.

It's apparently been some time since the events of part seven's The New Blood has ended. Jason is still down at the bottom of the lake, and, judging by the cliche' Friday characters residing in the party boat above Jason, Crystal Lake is up and running again. Being completely unoriginal and starting a trend for the film, Jason is resurrected via the boats anchor pulling up a power line and Frankensteining his ass back to "life". He immediately climbs aboard, dispatching the young twits on the boat and decides to do something completely uncharacteristic...he leaves Crystal Lake. Wait, come again you say? Yes, he decides to leave his home turf of 20-30-40 years (depending on the film's chronology) to drift into a harbor and board a cruise ship heading to New York with a local graduating class of high school nitwits. What the fuck is going on here?

Now, if the concept of Jason ditching the only home he's ever known, a home he's spilled enough blood to fill your local reservoir with to protect it's honor from brain dead teenagers, the concept of him "leaving" is just fucking lame. Sure, it's all about getting him to the Big Apple and thus fitting the film's tag-line, but Christ o' Fucking Mighty, the Jason I know would never, and I repeat never, leave Crystal Lake. Nonetheless, leave he does, and the next eighty minutes is nothing more than Jason playing stowaway on the boat while we're introduced to the standard cliche's the series has become famous for. Character wise, there's a creepy deckhand who warns the ship is "doomed" ala crazy Ralph from parts one and two, the bitchy girl , the nerdy girl, the nerdy guy, the outcast girl and on down the fucking line. Oh, wait, yes...there's a "good girl" and "good guy" as well. Our heroine is some broad named Renny, who shares some sort of psychic link with old hockey puss. Apparently a ten year old Jason tried to drown her back in Crystal Lake many a year ago, and now she shares some sort of "bond" with him. At least, that's what I got out of it. Who the fuck knows. Oh, and get this, whenever Jason is close, Renny goes into some sort of trance while seeing Jason drowning as a young boy and crying "help me". Oh, what the fuck is going on here?

While you witness the usual piss awful acting, standard horror cliche's and bloodless kills (easily the least gory of the series), just be thankful for one thing, and one thing only. At least Paramount had the smarts to bring back Kane Hodder as Jason, as his performance is the only, and I repeat the only positive thing going here. He's big, he's pissed, and he's highly animated. Jason also seems to have developed a new "super power" as now, along with his incredible invincibility, he can now seemingly teleport. I just think that for the money, there isn't a better guy around to play Mr. Voorhee's. Oh, and cheer him on you will, as these characters all deserve to die by the following ways: thrown off the boat, darts to the eyes, sauna rocks through the gut, barrel drownings, and noggins punched off bodies. As stated above, the kills are all shockingly bloodless and nothing to write home about. The MPAA had a field day with this one, but honesty, at this point in the game, I don't think any but hardcore fans could care. Which sorta sucks for Paramount, because I think only hardcore fans went to see this "movie". Oh well.

By the time Jason finally gets to New York, which is about eighty minutes into the film, I don't think anyone in the audience could have felt anything but ripped off. I just don't get the motivation for Jason to:

A. Leave Crystal Lake to kill a bunch of non Crystal Lake trespassing teens.

B. Continue to follow Renny through the whole fucking city, for....what reason? What the hell is the fixation with her?

And, while I'm on a roll...

C. What the fuck is with all these images of a young Jason crying "help me, help me" to Renny?

D. Ah, the ending? I mean, what the fuck is that about? Does New York routinely flush it's sewers with toxic waste? Why the hell does Jason revert back to a ten year old child? Aaaargh!!!

Easily the worst of the series, and it's sort of a shame Paramount could not have gave the big guy a better send off. Things would change with the series over at New Line, though it it would take a while before they got it right with Freddy V.S. Jason. This one, however you want to put it, is an abomination.