Return To Boggy Creek (1978)

To be honest, I really wasn’t paying close attention to this one while it was playing. Apparently it’s an illegitimate sequel to “Boggy Creek”, a type of mock documentary on a Bigfoot type creature seen back in the seventies. Right after I popped this one in the old Beta player (yes, that’s right…we’re old school here at the Apocalypse) my buddy and his wife stopped by for a little visit. My friends wife seemed totally unable to comprehend that here on a Saturday night, a single twenty-five year old like myself could be happy getting drunk by himself while watching what is arguably an after-school special movie where a pack of kids run into a Bigfoot. Yes, I have problems…serious problems. Getting back to the movie, I noticed several things. First, we get a pre-teen Dana Plato and the ever so sexy Mary Ann from “Gilligan’s Island” as two characters in the film. Mary Ann keeps her top on, so don’t get worked up over that possibility…this sucker is pure G-rated material. The entire film centers around 3 kids (Dana included) fishing and playing in the woods/swamp, while the grownups back in town all sit around and discuss the legend of the monster that supposedly lurks in the area. The Sasquatch pops up here and there to splash some water, scare the kids and what not, but don’t worry…this ape-man is actually of the friendly variety. He’s obviously not related to the penis yanking, intestine slinging yeti in night of the Demon. “RTBC” is a simply god-awful flick that would maybe be watchable if you’re an extremely bored six year old on a rainy afternoon, and even that may be stretching it a bit. Bad film mavens take note.