Creepshow 2 (1987)

I recall the days when pay-cable was a new novelty, with HBO, Cinemax and the like. Here you could actually watch a movie in your own home unedited, without commercials, and most important of all, no hassle of begging your mom to take you to the video store. One of the first films I watched, on HBO I believe, was none other than the sequel to 1982's lackluster Creepshow. Remember however, that when you are 8, it does not take much to scare the living crap out of you. And scare me this film did, quite badly. Why, I'm not sure, because rewatching it after all these years I see that this is one truly piss awful film. Let me give you a quick recap here if I may. Story one concerns George Kennedy and some old broad as a pair of store owners who are killed by a gang of hooligans. To bad for these hooligans, because the big wooden Indian statue out front of the store has revenge on his mind. He quickly off's them in about three minutes. It really is about as exciting as what I just wrote. Story two was kind of cool, about a group of kids who swim out to a raft on a lake, only to be eaten by the Blob's amphibious cousin, Aqua-Blob. Aqua-Blob looks like a big garbage bag on water, and sad to say, that's probably what it really was. Cool concept, shitty delivery. Last but not least, is a story that concerns a woman who smacks into a poor guy with her car late at night. Since she did not check on the guy, his ghost keeps popping up on the road only to be run over and over again about twenty times, while always quipping "thanks for the ride lady". It gets old real fast, sort of like my reviews you might say. In closing, allow me to say this, even after 6 cold Coors this one still stunk, that being the sign of a real turkey. So for that my friends, let's all proclaim out loud together....PISS ON IT!!